Dark Side of the Moon S5
by Bad Day at Black Rock
Summary: After an unpleasant visit from a couple hunters, the guys find themselves...in heaven?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: These fics are based on real episodes from Supernatural. The characters and plots belong to the creator and writers for the show. If you want background on the OCs you can read the previous episodes.

Dark Side of the Moon

Sam hadn't had long to try to figure out exactly what was going on. The men in their room were human, as anything else wouldn't have bothered putting on ski masks to conceal their identity, and they most likely wouldn't be using shotguns. So not only were they human, but obviously afraid of the repercussions of them knowing who they were. They seemed to be waiting for Dean to wake up without commotion and one of them had already gotten the gun from under his pillow. Dean hadn't budged. Kayla was nowhere to be seen, and since there was no way in hell they'd get her from Dean's bed without waking him up, she must have left before they showed up. She was usually awake before them, and she most likely went to get them breakfast.

Of all that, what he hadn't figured out was who the hell these guys were. The only thing they'd said to him was to keep his hands where they could see them, and to keep his damn mouth shut. He'd been doing that for awhile now, and they just stood their, shotguns aimed, waiting.

Dean started to lightly stir from his sleep and his hands slid under his pillow. When he felt nothing, he stilled. No one ever moved his gun from under him.

"Looking for this?"

He looked over his shoulder and saw one of the men unload the clip onto the floor. Sam nodded to him on the other bed and neither of them gave indication that anyone was missing from the scene. "Good morning." He slowly sat up.

"Hands where I can see 'em." He was told.

Had he really slept through them breaking in, waking Sam and getting him quiet? He really had to lay off the whiskey. He raised his hands but leaned forward to get a better look at one of the men. "Wait a minute." He tilted his head. "Is that you Roy? It is isn't it? Which makes you Walt. Hey Walt." He told the other one.

They looked at each other and Roy pulled off his mask. "Doesn't matter." Walt pulled his too.

This didn't make Sam feel better; if Dean knew them, they were hunters.

"Is it just me or do you two seem a tad upset?"

"What you think you can switch on the apocalypse, and just walk away Sam?" Walt asked him.

So that's what this was about. "Who told you that?"

"We aren't the only hunters after you." He pumped the shotgun.

"I can explain. Please."

The doorknob moved and everyone looked at the door, everyone in a different state of panic.

_Stop._

Kayla heard Sam's voice so loud in her head it made her jump and she stepped away from the door. He hadn't been able to do that in some time.

_Get a gun._

"Expecting company?"

Dean shrugged. "Must have the wrong room."

Roy looked to Walt, who was obviously the brains of this outfit. Or at least the bigger mouth. Walt shook his head. "It's Kayla. Get her before she can double back for a bigger gun you idiot." He watched him go for the door and raised the gun to Dean's face as he stood up. "Sit the fuck down."

Roy opened the door and looked around. "I don't see anyone." He pulled the door shut and locked it. "I'm not gonna stand there and be an open target."

"We'll have to find her after then."

Dean's jaw tightened but he tried to stay calm. "No need for that fellas, she's just along for the ride."

"Along for the ride." Walt chuckled. "We're not new to this, we know about the nest in Tallahassee."

He saw the look of recognition on Sam's face. "What nest?"

"It was…while you were gone. We cleaned out a vamp nest." He tried to make it sound like it wasn't a big deal, like it was just a hunt.

"Yeah ten against two without a scratch on them, so don't play it off like she's sweet and innocent. She's a hunter."

Sam turned his head down from Dean's look. Everything about it screamed _That's how you take care of her?_ Besides, it was an exaggeration; there weren't ten of them, and they'd both been injured. "Look man, just hear me out."

Without further discussion Walt put a shotgun round into Sam's chest. Dean instinctively jerked towards him and Roy raised his gun again. "Stay the hell down."

_Oh God, they shot someone._ Kayla gripped her gun in her shaking hand and kicked the door open. Everything after that seemed like a slow motion blur but it went by so fast no one could get a grip on what was happening. Kayla had seen Sam, shot down on the bed and fired her gun. As a fatal bullet went through Roy, Walt had shot in reaction, killing Dean instantly. Before shock could even register, she emptied her clip into him. The gun was still making empty clicks when she felt the pain; she turned to see Roy, on the ground but gun raised. She was satisfied seeing how weak he was; he was dying.

She looked to Dean, motionless, but she couldn't make her legs move. Her knees buckled and she staggered to the side, trying to hold on to the dresser for support but she just didn't have the strength. The room darkened around her and the pain slipped away. Everything slipped away.


	2. Chapter 2

The Impala was stopped, running but parked on a dark dirt road near the woods. Dean and Kayla exchanged a look and Dean rubbed his eyes.

"I really gotta stop taking shots before bed. Help me out. What are we doing?"

She was just as lost as he was. The last thing she remembered was going to sleep, and that violent dream she'd had…she wouldn't mention that. "There's a fire."

They got out of the car and saw an old house in the clearing engulfed in flames. The place looked long since abandoned; the front door was rotten and hanging on it's hinges, the windows were nearly all missing glass or the glass was broken, the yard was dead, though the place did have a familiar quality. So if no one was home, who set the fire?

"Look." Dean pointed into the woods at the far side of the clearing. There were two men toting camera equipment running from the scene. "Isn't that…"

Kayla looked and saw what he saw, which just made her more confused. "The Ghost Facers. And that's the Murdoch house."

"Well that makes more sense. I'm dreaming." Dean stated. "Or having a flashback."

"_You're_ dreaming? I thought I was."

"Either way." He looked at the house, then back at Kayla. It really was nostalgic, they'd run from the house and Dean lit the blaze. Kayla had stopped right where she was standing now in front of the car. He gave her a crooked smile. "I remember this part."

She smiled. "You just want to skip to the good part then?"

He walked over and kissed her softly and remembered that night. The first time he'd kissed her; he would never admit how terrified he was, because he knew the risk he was taking. He knew he'd never be able to take it back, and he knew it wasn't going to be one of his flings. Thank God for reckless decisions.

They both jumped at the sound of the trunk shutting; it hadn't even been open. A boy was holding a box of fireworks, looking eagerly at Dean. He looked around and the burning house was gone, the Impala was on an asphalt road.

"Sammy?"

"Come on let's go!" He headed off of the road.

He looked at Kayla. "Maybe we're tripping, someone slipped us drugs."

"Is that Sam, when he was little? He's so cute!"

"This is a weird dream." They followed Sam a ways off the road.

He set the box down and grabbed two of the fireworks. "Got your lighter?"

Dean fished in his pocket and pulled out a lighter. "Man I haven't seen this in years." He laughed.

"Fire 'em up." The young Sam told him.

Dean lit the two fireworks and they held them up, after a moment they shot into the sky and exploded into a colorful array of falling lights. "I remember this." Dean grinned. "It's Fourth of July, 1996."

Sam looked up at him with a joyful smile. "Dad would never let us do anything like this, thanks Dean. This is great." He threw his arms around his waist and hugged him tightly.

Dean hugged him and looked at Kayla, bewildered but obviously content with the memory. "You weren't even here for this, I don't get it." Sam pulled away and took his lighter, he seemed completely oblivious to Kayla. He acted like he didn't even see her.

She just smiled and motioned him towards Sam and the fireworks; whatever the hell this was, dream, hallucination, she wasn't going to take it from him. As Dean went towards Sam she stepped back and sat on the grass, folding her arms across her knees as she watched them.

Dean was in flashback heaven. Him and Sammy lit up that box of fireworks and the kid got so excited, he loved those damn things. He watched him laugh and cheer and jump around, God that was such a great night. With a contented sigh he looked up at the cracking lights.

_Crack._

The sound was different that time. He looked to Sammy but he was still dancing in victory of the fireworks.

_Crack._

Sammy and the fireworks were gone. He turned to Kayla and she still sat on the grass, but her smile had turned into frightened concern. Her voice shook slightly when she spoke.

"It wasn't a dream, was it?"

"Of course it was, Sammy was only…"

"Not that, Dean, the room, were those guys really in the room?" She stood up.

"You dreamt about Roy and Walt in the room? With shotguns?"

They looked to the Impala as the radio crackled on by itself and walked over to it.

"_Dean, Kayla."_

He leaned in the window. "Cas?"

"_Yeah, it's me." _The lights raised and dimmed as he spoke through the car speakers.

"Dude you're seriously a buzz kill with the dreams, I need some me time." He climbed into the driver's seat as Kayla got in.

"_Listen to me very closely. This isn't a dream."_

He looked at Kayla. "Then what is it?"

"Deep down you already know."

_Crack._

The shotgun echoed inside his head. "We're dead."

"_Condolences."_

"Where are we?"

"_Heaven."_

Dean's eyes widened and he looked around; all he saw was the dark road in front of him, barely lit in the moonlight. "How did _I_ get to heaven?"

"_Listen, this connection is difficult to maintain."_ The static rose in the radio and broke up his voice. The light dimmed some.

Kayla leaned forward. "If we're here, where's Sam?"

"_What do you see?"_

Dean's voice was on the edge of panic. If Kayla was in heaven with him, had Sam ended up in hell? Had all his stupid demon-blood gotten him a ticket downstairs? "What do you mean what do I see?"

"_Some people see a tunnel, or a river. What do you see?"_

"It's just a road, Cas. The Impala's sitting on a road." Kayla told him.

"_Follow the road. You'll find Sam." _The lights dimmed out.

Dean started the car and did what Cas told them; he followed the road. Kayla was ringing her hands next to him.

"Why isn't he with us?"

He shook his head. "I don't know."


	3. Chapter 3

About a mile down the road was a two story yellow house. It wasn't the type of place you would think to find Sam in; clean, fresh paint, cute little decorations on the door. The place was welcoming, a family home.

"Kind of anticlimactic." Kayla said as he slowed to a stop. "The epic battle of heaven and hell just around the corner, and we get taken out by a couple dudes with guns."

"Well if it makes you feel any better, they were hunters." He looked at the house. "They were after Sam for starting the apocalypse."

"Well." She paused. "No, it doesn't make me feel better."

"It's not like we were taken out by random civilians."

They went quietly into the house and found Sam sitting at a large dinning room table with an unfamiliar family. They were serving quite a meal, there was a full holiday spread in front of them. As he politely answered questions from the father of the family, the little girl next to him kept grabbing him under the table.

"Wow." Dean stated.

Sam looked up, a little embarrassed. "What are you guys doing here? In my dream?" He got up from the table and walked over. Like Dean's memory of Sammy, the family didn't notice Dean or Kayla there. In fact, the memory continued as if he was sitting in the chair the whole time. They just kept right on talking to an empty space.

"You want to take this one, oh compassionate one?"

Sam looked to Kayla, waiting for an explanation.

"The dudes at the motel blew us away and now we're in heaven."

"Wow." Dean chuckled and shook his head. "I expected a little more hugging, maybe some crying."

She shrugged. "Sorry." She was kind of pissed actually; more so than she would admit. She couldn't believe a couple fellow hunters killed them.

"Heaven." Sam said, it was more of a confused question.

"Yeah." Dean answered.

"How are _we_ in heaven?"

"All that clean living I guess." He grinned.

"Okay no, you two, I get. But me? I don't know if you've noticed, but um, I've done a few things…"

"You thought you were doing the right thing."

"Last I checked it wasn't the road to heaven that was paved with good intentions."

"What do you want me to say Sam? These are questions for the big man, and you know He ain't talking."

He sighed quietly. "They say when you bite it that your life flashes before your eyes."

"Your point?"

"This house, it's one of my memories."

"That would make sense," Kayla noted. "We came to in a memory."

"Then we moved into another one, that fourth of July when we burned down that field."

Kayla laughed quietly. "I wish I could have seen that part."

"Maybe that's what heaven is, a place where you relive your greatest hits."

Dean gave him a look. "What so playing footsie with brace-face over there, that was a key moment for you?"

"Dean I was eleven years old. It was my first real Thanksgiving."

"What are you talking about? We had Thanksgiving every year."

"We had a bucket of extra crispy and dad passed out on the couch." He reminded him.

The house began to shake. It was soft at first, like there was a nearby passing train. Then the lights began to flicker as the shaking worsened and a light shone through the windows. They quickly hid from sight of the windows until it passed.

"Well I don't remember that. What the hell was that?" Sam looked and the family was still sitting and talking at the table like nothing had happened.

"I don't know, but we are taking the first elevator back downstairs." Dean went over to the stereo and lightly hit the top of it. "Cas."

Sam tilted his head, not that his brother's state of mind hadn't worried him before. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

Kayla laughed. "Talking to a radio."

He grimaced. "You're being particularly helpful right now."

"Sorry." She replied sarcastically. "Cas talked to us in the car, through the radio."

"Cas!" Dean called again.

"I can hear you." The television turned on at the opposite side of the room and Cas's face appeared in the static.

"Hey, we found Sam but something happened. There was this weird beam of light…"

"Don't go into the light." He ordered.

"Okay, thanks, Carol Anne. What was it?"

"Not what, who. Zachariah. He's searching for you."

"And if he finds us?"

"You can't say yes to Michael and Lucifer if you're dead, so Zachariah needs to return you to your bodies."

Kayla raised her hands. "This is bad why?"

"You don't understand." He stammered in frustration. "You're behind the wall. This is a rare opportunity. You need to find an angel, his name is Joshua."

"Great." Dean grumbled. "Listen no offense but we're kind of ass-full of angels okay? You find him."

"I can't. I can't return to heaven."

They all felt a tug of guilt about that one, they couldn't really deny him that. Kayla spoke up. "So, who's Joshua?"

"Rumor is, he talks to God."

Dean looked at the screen. "Okay, so?"

"You think maybe, _just_ maybe, we should find out what the _hell_ God has been saying?"

"Geez, touchy."

"Ha, he cussed at you." Kayla smirked.

"Why am I always the one getting yelled at?"

"Please, I just need you to follow the road. It's called the axis mundi. It a path that runs through heaven, different people see it as different things, for you, it's two lane asphalt. The road will lead you to the garden, you will find Joshua there, and Joshua can take us to God. The garden. Please hurry."

The television shut off.

"I guess we're on an angel hunt." Kayla sighed. "I hope he's more like Cas, and less like Zachariah…"

"No shit." Dean started for the door.

"Wait wait wait." Sam stopped them. You actually want to do this? Help Cas find God? _You_?" He directed towards Dean.

He knew how it sounded. Faith wasn't his strong point and he'd admit that. Though God is kind of a hard fact to dispute when you're actually in heaven. "Look Sam, we're boned okay? So prayer, the last hope of a desperate man, whatever, let's do it."

How much more messed up could it get, right? "Alright."

Dean opened the front door but the impala, and the road, was gone. They stared into nothing but forest. There wasn't even a path from the door. How were they going to follow a damn road that wasn't even there?


	4. Chapter 4

Dean shut the door and tried not to feel discouraged. Following a road was simple, so if that's what they were supposed to do it was pretty much a guarantee that the higher powers would fuck with them and hide the road. He couldn't really expect much more. Sam and Kayla had stopped and he turned around to see what was up; they weren't even in the same house anymore. Thank you again, higher powers.

They were standing in a bedroom, from the color scheme he would assume a girl's bedroom. It wasn't a child's room; there were no stuffed animals, no cartoon toys or pictures. There weren't many pictures at all in fact, just a couple framed posters of horses. In the corner was a small desk with a laptop. Teenager. He looked to see Kayla running her fingers along the bedspread with a quiet smile.

"You calling this one?"

She looked up and let her hand fall to her side. "Yeah, this one's mine."

"_Kayla! Could you come down here?"_

Even though it was a memory, she couldn't help but smile hearing her mom's cheerful voice. It wasn't a scolding, she sounded excited, like she had a secret to share. She looked at the calendar. "I remember this."

Sam offered a small smile. "We should really…"

"Aw come on, let me remember. It'll just be a minute." She headed through the hall to the stairs.

The guys followed behind her, down into the living room where her mom was waiting with an eager grin.

"We got you something."

She remembered how she'd responded. "Am I going to get as excited as you, or are you overreacting?"

"You're a teenager, how should I know?" She went to the front door and opened it just a crack. "Alright Daniel, you can come in."

The door pushed open and her dad came in with a puppy under each arm. Their tiny black and tan bodies wiggled with excitement. "Ta da."

"Ohh!" She exclaimed just the way she did when it happened, how could you not aww over puppies? "They're so cute!" She took one of the puppies from him and he set the other on the floor. It jumped around her feet excitedly.

"I was fine with the one, considering how big they get." Her mom told her.

"Nah, you have to get two, to have each other's back. Twice the fun." Her dad smirked.

Kayla smiled. She'd been so surprised to get those puppies, her dad was allergic to anything with fur. It wasn't long after…well, the move…and he wanted so badly to get her smiling again. She walked over to Dean. "Look at her little face."

He smirked seeing the bite sized versions of her attack dogs. "So which one's Spice?"

"Ow!" They looked to see her dad jumping away from the other puppy, who jumped back and bit him again on the ankle.

"That one." She smiled and put the puppy down and watched them romp around for a moment. "It was two months before my dad got the big promotion. It was the last time money wasn't that big of a deal."

Sam had already started opening doors. They heard what Cas told them; they were supposed to be hurrying. "I'm really not trying to kill your moment, but…"

"Yeah, yeah. I know." She looked at her parents, young and carefree, before the big house and car collection. Before Azazel. "We gotta find the road."

When the front door didn't lead anywhere Dean opened one of the closets. Inside on the ground was a small toy track set with a single blue car. "Hey I had one of these when I was a kid."

Kayla peered over his shoulder. "That's not mine. I've never even seen that."

He picked up the remote and pushed the button, making the car travel around the track.

Sam looked around and saw the scene had changed once again. "That was the road?"

Dean looked up. "I guess." Another bedroom, this time a boy's room. Sports and cars galore. "Trippy."

Sam nodded and looked at his shirt. "Yeah, um, more trippy." He pointed to the light blue shirt Dean was wearing, which had a large teddy bear on it. "Apparently you…'Wuv Hugz'."

Dean looked down at his shirt. "Shut up."

"Ah that's cute!" Kayla smiled. "This must be yours then."

He looked around again. "Yeah, I know where we are."

"Where?" Sam asked.

"We're home."

To satisfy his curiosity, their mother peered in the doorway. "Hey Dean, you hungry?"

They followed her downstairs where Dean had a place set for lunch, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a glass of cold milk.

"You want the crust cut off?" She asked as she finished pouring the milk.

He looked at her, still in awe of his distant childhood memory. "Yeah. I'd love that."

She was already prepared and started cutting the crust off the sandwich.

"Mom?" Sam spoke to her from the doorway. Like the other memories, she didn't hear him.

"It's not your memory Sam, sorry."

"Dean, we should um…" he motioned to the door.

"Just give me a minute."

Kayla smiled and leaned on the door frame. Heaven was awesome so far, it was a nice break.

The phone rang and Mary went to answer it, the sweet smile on her face disappearing when she heard the voice. "No, John. We're not having this conversation again." Her arms flailed. "Think about what? You have two boys at home."

Dean was turned, watching the conversation. "I remember this. Mom and dad were fighting and then he moved out for a couple days."

Sam looked thrown off. "Dad always said they had the perfect marriage."

"It wasn't perfect until after she died."

"Fine." Mary spoke into the phone. "Then don't. There's nothing more to talk about." She slammed the phone down and stared at it.

Sam looked at Kayla, then back at Dean. He wished he remembered any of this. "What happens next?"

Dean knew, he remembered it like it was yesterday now. He got up and crossed the kitchen to hug his mom. "It's okay mom. Dad still loves you. I love you too, I'll never leave you."

Kayla saw the tears in his mother's eyes and fought back her own, they'd had family disorder since the day they were born.

"You, are my little angel." She touched his face and then smiled to cover her distraught. "How about some pie?"

He walked back over to them and saw Sam shaking his head. "What?"

He shrugged and composed himself. "I just never realized how long you've been cleaning up dad's messes."

"Whatever, let's keep moving."

They started searching the house, looking behind doors, in closets, drawers, everything now that they knew it didn't have to be a physical road. Sam was determined to get out of memory lane. He looked over and saw Kayla kiss Dean briefly, she was comforting him as best and as quietly as she could. Trying to block out his eagerness to get the hell out, he found a postcard in one of the desks and picked it up. "I've seen this before." He showed Dean and Kayla.

"Where?"


	5. Chapter 5

The new location was much different than the rest. They were in a studio apartment, and a dirty one at that. There were dozens of postcards pinned to the wall in front of them, including the one Sam had picked up. Pizza boxes and soda cans were scattered everywhere.

"No way." Sam uttered and an excited golden retriever ran up to him. "Bones! Hey, hey come here!" He kneeled down to pet him.

"Oh sure, but I can't dote over mine."

"Bones?" Dean asked. He had no idea where they were.

"Yeah, Bones was my dog." He opened one of the pizza boxes and offered a crust to him.

"Your dog?" He looked around. "Is this Flagstaff?"

"Yeah." He answered excitedly, he remembered his old place.

"This is a good memory for you?" His tone had an angry edge to it.

"Yeah. I mean I was on my own for two weeks, I lived off of Funions and Mr. Pibb." He continued feeding the dog.

Dean just looked at him. He couldn't even get excited for him like he had Kayla. "You don't remember do you? You ran away on my watch. I looked everywhere for you, I thought you were dead. And when dad came home…" he stopped. _I wished I was dead._

"Dean I'm sorry, I never thought about it like that."

"Forget it, let's roll." He stormed out the front door.

He was looking to Kayla for the mercy he knew she'd give. She offered a smile.

"He's cute."

He couldn't even smile back. "Yeah. Bonesy, stay." They followed Dean out the door.

He was damned sick of going through doors that went into other places. His temper still seething from Sam's 'happy memory', he couldn't even focus on where they were. It was the hallway of an apartment building. Dean spun around to face them. "Call it."

"It has to be mine." Kayla said quickly. "You probably didn't take the time to notice the décor of the motel I suppose. Dean this was huge. I mean, for Sam too I'm sure." She tried to put Sam a little more in his good graces but she was so distracted by this memory it was hard to think straight. Never in her life had she felt such…such pure joy.

He looked at Sam, but he had nothing. He didn't recognize the place.

"When you came back. Dean, you can't even comprehend." She opened the door and sure enough, there were Sam and Dean, hunched over Sam's laptop. Kayla was missing from the scene, confirming that this was her memory. "I came in and took off my shoes…" she walked into the room and went through the motions. The Sam in her memory was trying to get her attention, while the Sam in reality was opening motel room doors trying to find another road.

Dean stepped in and leaned on the doorframe, watching her reenact the memory but there was a big difference now. She was excited, happy. When he'd seen her that night all the emotion had been gone from her face, she was empty. That would explain the horrible look of guilt he had on his face.

"You scared the shit out of me." She laughed.

He smiled. "And you broke the lamp."

She didn't bump into it this time but holding true to the memory, it fell off the table and broke.

"Hey sweetheart."

"Dean." She breathed. She couldn't help it. She dreamt about that night after it had happened, it was like being lifted out of a century of fog.

"Me and Bobby ran him through the loops, it's really him." Sam told her. He looked pretty damn happy himself.

She stopped the reenactment there and ran back to the door to hug him. "I could stay in this moment. I mean, if I had to, I could live in it."

Sam's stupid memory didn't seem so bad then. So he was happy to be out on his own. He kissed her and whispered against her ear, "I love you."

"I love you too. Hey, at least we know we're here together right?"

"I found it." Sam yelled at them from down the hall. He was going into the office and they followed him down.

Once they passed the door frame they were outside, and it was night again. At least this time they were still standing on an actual road. In front of them was a run down old house, the place wasn't even in good enough condition to live in.

A horrible memory passed in front of Dean. "What memory is this?"

"I have no idea." Sam answered, lying through his teeth. "Come on. Guys, road, God, remember?"

Dean glanced down the road, then back at the house. "Wait a minute." He looked at Sam. "This? This is the night you ditched us for Stanford isn't it? This is your idea of heaven?"

Sam knew now how Dean was feeling about it and he couldn't hide his guilt. He could hardly even look at him.

"Wow." He laughed, he had to so he would lose his mind. "This was one of the worst nights of my life."

"I can't control this stuff." He defended himself.

"Seriously? This is a happy memory for you?"

"I don't know, I mean I was on my own. I finally got away from dad."

"Yeah, he wasn't the only one you got away from." He looked back at the house.

"Dean I'm sorry, I just…I…"

"You didn't think about it like that, yeah. What the hell Sam? Your heaven, is someone else's Thanksgiving. It's bailing on your family, what do you want me to say?"

He decided to just be honest. "Man, I never got the crusts cut off my PB and J. I just don't look at family the way you do."

"But I'm your family."

"I know."

"We're supposed to be a team, you and me against the world!"

"Dean."

Before they could continue arguing, a light shone down on them. What the hell was this, a fucking angel search light?

"Go."

They took off running, tearing through the woods as fast as their legs would carry them. At the first opportunity to duck and cover, they slid under a large fallen tree. Calm footsteps were walking near them and they heard Zachariah.

"Wow. Running from angels, on foot, in heaven. With out of the box thinking like that, I'm surprised you boys haven't stopped the apocalypse already." He snapped and suddenly it was daytime. "Guys, what's the problem? I just want to send you back to Earth, that's all. That is, after I tear you a cosmos of new ones. If you come out now I'll leave the girl alone Dean-O." They didn't answer. "By the time I'm done with you, you're going to be begging to say yes."

Dean motioned them away and they took off running again. It wasn't ten yards before Zachariah cut them off.

"Guys, you can run but you can't…run."

They took off back the way they came, anything to keep moving and keep out of Zach's reach. A man in a cape and a Mexican wrestler's mask was standing near a shack. He held a finger to his mouth.

"Shh. Come with me." He went to the front door, drew a symbol onto with chalk and led them inside.


	6. Chapter 6

They were in a bar. "Wait a minute, who are you?" Dean asked him.

He removed his cape and mask, and shook himself off. "Buenos Dias bitches."

"Ash?"

He clapped his hands and the lights came on. They weren't just in a bar, they were in the Roadhouse. "Welcome to my blue heaven. How about a cold one? Up here, no hangover."

They exchanged looks and sat at the bar. They'd had quite a day after all, actually they didn't know how long they'd been there. He gave them each a beer.

Sam cracked his open and shook his head with a laugh. "So, no offense, but how…"

Ash didn't seem offended at all. "How does a dirt bag like me end up in a place like this? I've been saved man."

"And you said this was your heaven?"

"Yep, my own personal…" he downed his beer.

"Okay, and when the angels jumped us, we were…"

"In your heaven." He motioned to his head.

"So there are two heavens."

"More like a hundred billion, so don't worry, it'll take those angel boys a minute to catch up." He saw the confusion on their faces. "You gotta stop thinking of heaven as one place. It's more like a butt load of places, all crammed together. Like DisneyLand, except without all the anti-Semitism."

"DisneyLand."

"Yeah. See you got, like Winchester Land. I got Ash Land. A whole mess of everybody else land, put 'em all together, heaven. Right? And at the center of it all, is the magic kingdom. The garden."

Dean nodded. "So everybody gets a little slice of paradise."

"Pretty much. A few people share, special cases."

"What do you mean special?"

"Oh you know, like, soul mates and junk."

"Anyways, most people can't leave their private Idaho's."

"But you ain't most people." Dean smirked.

"Nope, they ain't got my skills. I've been all over. Johnny Cash, Andre the Giant, Einstein. Sam, that man can mix a white Russian…hell, the other day, I found Mallanaga Vatsyayana."

"Who?"

"He wrote the Kama Sutra. That boy's heaven, is sweaty, and confusing."

"All this from a guy who used to sleep on a pool table." Dean was impressed.

"How'd you find us?"

"I rigged my own holy garden police scanner." He put a rigged laptop on the counter and it began ringing. "That's angels. Babbling in Enochian, influent." He pressed a button. I heard that you were up, of course I had to find you, again."

"Again?"

"Of course, this isn't the first time you've been up here. You guys die, more that anyone I've ever met." He pointed at Kayla. "You too sweetheart. This isn't the first drink we've had."

"Really?"

"Yeah you don't remember. Damn angels, must have windexed your brains."

"Have you found anyone else? How about our folks?"

"I've looked all over for John and Mary Winchester. So far, nada. Sorry." He smiled and grabbed another beer. "I saw your parents one time though." He told Kayla. "They're pretty cool for old-timers."

She smiled slightly. "Do they share a heaven?"

"They sure do. Sit tight, I got someone I know for sure wants to chat with you." He walked out the door and came back just a moment later, Pamela smiling cockily in front of him.

"Pamela."

"Nice to see you guys again." Of course she wasn't blind in heaven.

"Ooo." Ash whistled. "Let me see what I can pull up on the radar, see if we can get you guys where you need to go."

Pamela came and sat on the other side of Dean and Ash slid her a beer.

Dean looked at her, a little nervously. Her death was their fault, they were the reason she was here. "So."

"So." She smacked him upside the head. "That's for getting me killed."

"Yeah, well, it's probably less than I deserve." He nodded. "If it makes you feel any better we got Ash killed too."

"I'm cool with it." He pumped his fist from the computer.

"He's cool with it."

"So…are you good?"

"I'm good." She answered simply.

"What's your heaven?" Kayla asked. They didn't know much about the woman, except that she could do a wicked séance and she probably wasn't their biggest fan.

She smiled. "It's one long show at the Meadowlands. It's amazing. You should see it!" Her voice seeped out in excitement, she was really digging this place.

Dean just smiled. "Yeah."

"You don't believe me." She leaned forward. "You were right Dean. You told me, while I was coughing up blood, that I was going to a better place."

"I lied."

"You were right!"

He shrugged. "I just don't get it. Spending all of eternity trapped in your own little universe while the angels run the show, that's lonely. That's not nirvana, that's…The Matrix."

"I don't know," she replied. "The attic is still better than the basement."

"Okay, but this place." He motioned around the bar, the memory of the Roadhouse. "It feels real, but it's Memorex. Real is down there."

"Yeah well, close enough." She took another drink. "I don't know why _you're _complaining about lonely anyway. I mean, you two snapped in together didn't you?"

"Yeah but…"

"So you get to share. You're just going through the memories right now, you haven't been settled into your heaven."

Dean looked at Kayla and hoped he wasn't offending her with his arguments. "Why are you so big on selling this?"

Pamela shrugged. "I know Michael wants to take you out on a test drive. I'm just saying, what happens if you play ball with him? Worst case?"

"A lot of people die." He already knew that one.

"And then they come here! Is that really so bad?" She lowered her voice. "Look, maybe, you don't have to fight it so hard. That's all I'm trying to say."

"Hey." Sam interrupted them. "Found a shortcut to the garden."

"Oh yeah." Ash nodded in satisfaction with himself. He grabbed his chalk and went to the front door to begin writing the symbols. Actually it was more of a math equation. The guy really was a genius.

Kayla looked over his shoulder. "Ash, have we told you how awesome you are lately?"

"I know." He finished drawing it out. "But it's good to hear. Here's your all access pass to the magic kingdom."

"Good." Dean noted, he was ready to move. Ash turned to look at him. "Not good?"

"That Zach guy is gonna be watching every road to the garden."

Pamela gave them each a hug, and Sam and extra smack on the ass. "Watch your ass, I'd hate for anything to happen to it."

He shifted uncomfortably and nodded before heading to the door. "Thanks for everything Ash."

He nodded. "Not to be a downer or anything, but uh, I'm sure I'll see you again soon."

They all took a deep breath and stepped through the door.


	7. Chapter 7

No garden. Why couldn't this be easier? They found themselves back in the Winchester family home and it was night time again. Maybe Ash did the equation wrong. Dean rubbed his neck and bit back his frustration.

"Why are we back home?"

"I don't know. So what are we gonna do?"

"We're looking for the road again I guess." He grumbled.

"Honey, why are you up?" A sweet voice came from the kitchen and Mary walked in to the room.

Dean took a breath. It's just a memory. "Ok I'm sorry, I love you, but you're not real. And we don't have time…"

"Did you have a nightmare? What's wrong?" She continued.

"I gotta go." He started to walk out of the room.

"Then how about I tell you my nightmare Dean? The night I burned." Blood began to seep through her gown.

He looked at her and realized something was wrong. "Let's get out of here."

"Don't you walk away from me." She snapped at him.

"Dean don't listen to her." Kayla warned. "It's not real, this isn't a memory."

He hesitated but turned back to his mother.

"I never loved you. You were my burden. I was shackled to you. Look what it got me." She blinked and her eyes turned yellow.

"Dean." Kayla touched his arm. "This is garbage, we went back in time, we _met_ your mom, saw her when she was pregnant. She was ecstatic."

An eerie green light filtered through the room and they looked around to see that all the doors and windows had been bricked in.

Mary paced slowly towards him. "The worst was the smell. The pain, well, what can you say about your skin bubbling off? But the smell, was so…you know for a second I thought I left a pot roast burning in the oven. But, it was my meat."

Dean backed away from her.

"And then finally, I was dead. One silver lining, is that at least I was away from you." She sighed quietly and wrung her hands together. "Everybody leaves you Dean, you noticed? Mommy, daddy, Sam…even your sweet Kayla has run out a couple times. Ever ask yourself why? Maybe it's not them. Maybe, it's you." She sneered and chuckled quietly.

"Easy now kitten." Zachariah walked up.

"You did this." Sam accused.

"And I'm just getting started. Guys, did you really think you could just sneak past me into mission control?"

"You son of a bitch." Sam stepped towards him but suddenly all three of them were restrained by angels standing behind them.

"You know I'd say the same thing about you Sam but I have actually grown quite fond of your mother. Or at least the blessed memory of her." Zachariah brushed the hair over her shoulder and kissed her neck. "I think we're gonna be logging a lot of quality time together. I've discovered she's quite the…MILF."

Dean cringed. "Gloat all you want you dick, you're still bald."

"In heaven I have six wings and four faces, one of which is a lion." He sounded very impressed with himself. "You see this because you're…" he trailed his fingers down Mary's arm. "Limited." He snapped and she disappeared. "Let's price tag this boys."

"Yeah yeah you're gonna ball-gag us until we say yes. I've heard that b…" before he could finish Zach punched him hard in the face.

"I'm gonna do a lot more than that, I've cleared my schedule. Get him up."

The angels pulled him up to face him.

Zachariah stopped inches from his face. "Listen closely _boy._ You bet your ass we're going to have _our_ heart to heart but I know exactly how to get you to scream yes at the top of your lungs and I'm starting with _her._"

"Don't you touch her you son of a…"

"Touch her?" He spun around and struck Kayla in the face.

She was caught off guard and it hurt like hell, it was worse than a demon hit but she swallowed the pained cry. A warm trickle of blood made it's way down her chin from where he'd busted her lip and she spit blood on to the floor.

"Ow."

"Let me tell you something. I was on the fast-track once. Employee of the month every month, forever. I would walk these halls, and people would overt their eyes!" He yelled. "I had respect!" His chin quivered in anger and he reined it in. "Then they assigned me you. Now look at me. I can't close the deal on a couple pathetic, flannel-wearing maggots? Everybody's laughing at me, and they're right to do it." He shook his head. "So, say yes, don't say yes, I'm still going to take it out of your asses." He closed his hand around Kayla's throat.

"If you hurt her I'll never say yes." He growled at him.

"Oh you will. You will to get me to stop. It's personal now, and the last person in the history of creation you want as your enemy, is me. I'll tell you why. Lucifer may be strong, but I'm…petty." His grip tightened on her neck and he smiled as she squirmed. "I'm gonna be the angel on your shoulder for the rest of eternity."

"Excuse me, sir?"

They turned and saw an older black gentlemen standing in the room.

Zachariah looked annoyed. "I'm in a meeting."

"I'm sorry, I need to speak to them."

He let Kayla go and stepped towards him. "Excuse me?"

"It's a bad time, I know. But I'm afraid I have to insist." His voice was calm and collected, he wasn't trying to threaten him.

"You don't get to insist anything."

"No, you're right. I don't. But the boss does, his orders."

Zachariah sized him up. "You're lying."

"Wouldn't lie about this. Look, fire me if you want, sooner or later he's going to come back home and you know how he is with that whole…wrath, thing."

He looked back at them, mad as hell but defeated. Him and his lackeys disappeared.

Kayla rubbed her neck. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it."


	8. Chapter 8

The house around them was replaced by a garden of sorts. It wasn't what they expected; it was small, not overly well kept, and enclosed in a large dome. Kayla for one expected something more out of the Garden of Eden. They walked over to the man who had saved them.

Sam said it first. "This is heaven's garden?" Of course he'd be the one to be bluntly unimpressed.

"It's nice, ish, I guess." Dean offered, backing him up.

The man wasn't insulted. "You see what you want to here. For some it's God's throne room, for others it's Eden. For you, I believe it's the Cleveland Botanical Gardens. You came here on a field trip."

Kayla shook her head. "You guys are dorks."

"You're Joshua." Sam nodded to him.

"I'm Joshua."

"So you talk to God?"

"Mostly, he talks to me." He didn't seem arrogant about this, in fact, he was incredibly humble for being the only thing in contact with God.

"We need to speak to him, it's important." Sam was just surprised they actually found this guy. Maybe there was some hope in all this.

"Where is he?" Dean asked.

"On Earth."

"Doing what?"

"I don't know." His answers came in quick, calm quips. He was very patient with them.

"Do you know what he's doing on Earth?"

"No sorry, we don't exactly speak face to face."

Dean gathered his thoughts and tried not to be rude, but he had to be direct. "Look I'm sorry but God's not talking to nobody so…"

"So why is He talking to me?" He nodded in understanding. "I sometimes think it's because I can sympathize, gardener to gardener. But between us, I think he gets lonely."

Dean's eyes clicked back. "My heart's breaking for him."

"He could try talking to the billions of people that have some damn questions they want answered." Kayla suggested. "He's got a lot of people willing to talk to him."

"Willing, and able, are two different things."

"Can you at least give him a message for us?" Sam asked.

"Actually, he has a message for you. Back off."

Dean stared at him. "What?" It wasn't exactly the message he was hoping for. He was hoping for something more along the lines of, 'help is on the way'.

"He knows already. Everything you want to tell him. He knows what the angels are doing, he knows that the apocalypse has begun. He just doesn't think that it's his problem."

He tried not to lose it. "Not his problem." How exactly was the planet and the people _He_ created all going up in smoke _not_ his problem?

"God saved you already. He put you on that plane, he brought back Castiel, he granted you salvation in heaven, and after _everything_ you've done too." He directed the last statement at Sam. "It's more than he's intervened in a long time. He's finished. Magic amulet or not, you won't be able to find him."

"But He can stop it. He can stop all of it." How could He just sit back and watch all this happen?

"I suppose he could, but he won't."

"Why?" Kayla blurted out a little louder than she intended. She tried to be rational, but no one else seemed to be. Sunday school was crap, she thought God was supposed to give a damn. "Why would He just let this happen, why won't He do something? Why can't He just jump in and strike Lucifer down?"

Joshua still didn't break his demeanor. "Why does He allow evil in the first place? You could drive yourself nuts asking questions like that."

But Dean was furious too. "So he's just going to sit back and watch the world burn?"

"I know how important this was to you Dean, and I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "Forget it. Just another deadbeat dad with a bunch of excuses right? I'm used to that. I'll muddle through it." He joked.

"Except, you don't know if you can this time. You can't kill the devil, and you're losing faith, in yourself, your brother, now this. God was your last hope. I just, I wish I could tell you something different."

Sam's eyes were on the ground in front of him, he was trying to make it all okay in his head. "How do we know you're telling the truth?"

"You think that I would lie?"

"It's just that, you're not exactly the first angel we've met."

"I'm rooting for you guys!" He encouraged. "I wish that I could do more to help you, I do! But, I just trim the hedges."

"But you talk to Him." Kayla argued, her voice shook slightly as tears threatened her eyes. "Can't you, I don't know, beg? Something? Millions of people are going to die, billions if hell wins and he just…he's okay with that?"

"Accepting, would be the more appropriate term."

"Accepting." She laughed in disgust. "Everyone's going to die and he's accepting of that. Well, good for Him. To hell with us."

"Not to hell, to heaven."

There was a brief pause before Dean spoke, his voice was layered in disappointment. "So what now?"

Joshua headed down the path but stopped to answer his question. "You go home. But this time, won't be like the last. This time, God wants you to remember." He held his hand up and that familiar, blinding white light washed over them. So long heaven.


	9. Chapter 9

The feeling of complete hopelessness weighed heavy against him. He had so little hope to begin with, that he, Dean Winchester, had let himself believe that God would save them. Now not only does he find out that yes, God indeed does exist, but no, he doesn't give a shit about you. He would have rather someone told them that He was a big fat myth and to quit wasting their time looking.

Kayla seemed to be taking it just as hard, she'd hardly said two words since they got back. Every time he got a look in her direction her eyes were teared up, but only for a moment until she calmed herself down. She was putting on a strong front just for him, just so he wouldn't feel so…finished. The truth was it just made him feel worse, he felt like he let her down.

She wouldn't even tell Cas, he got that fantastic job. He hadn't taken the news of his Father's message well. Telling a guy whose entire existence was dependent on the belief that God was a loving father who would always see them through, that God was a Father who was leaving them to destroy each other, was not the best conversation he'd had.

Now they were all in the room, quietly packing while Cas leaned against the wall with that beaten puppy expression. He hadn't said a word since Dean told him but now he spoke up.

"Maybe, maybe Joshua was lying."

Sam and Dean looked at him, neither of them wanting to answer him but Sam drew the short straw.

"I don't think he was Cas, I'm sorry."

But he knew that. He stepped towards the door and lifted his eyes to the sky. "You son of a bitch. I believed in…" he stopped. God wasn't even up there. He was somewhere on Earth, waiting for everything to perish. He turned slowly and fished Dean's amulet out of his pocket. "I don't need this anymore." He tossed it to him. "It's useless."

"Christ." Kayla got up and left the room, slamming the door behind her. She wasn't going to let Dean see her break down.

Castiel watched her go but his expression remained neutral. "I wasn't trying to worsen her spirits."

"Maybe you should talk to her." Dean offered, but he was more asking, subtly begging really. "You're the expert."

"I don't have answers for the questions she has."

"Just, help me out man." He asked. "There's nothing I can say."

The request seemed to aggravate him but he couldn't bring himself to deny it either. He stepped out the front door and followed the sidewalk around the corner. Kayla was sitting at the curb, arms folded on top of her knees with wet traces of tears on her cheek. With a quiet sigh he sat beside her, assuming a similar position. What could he say, when he was feeling the same way she was?

"He gave up on us." Kayla said quietly.

Cas nodded. "He gave up on us, too."

"Why now? If this was destined to happen, why would he abandon us?"

"Perhaps he's tired of the disappointment."

She shrugged a little. "Yeah, I guess we are disappointing."

"I wish I had words of encouragement, I do."

"I know." She wiped her eyes. "I just, I don't know what to do. Cas, I think…"

"I know." He answered. "All I can say is that I will do everything in my power to protect all of you from the wrath of Lucifer, and the powers of the apocalypse."

"Thanks Cas."

"Though without God on our side, there's going to be little I can do."

She shook her head, sinking further into a fit of hopelessness. "I wish you would lie sometimes."

He watched her for a moment, her eyes stayed on the ground and he saw in her expression what could only be a reflection of his own sense of rejection. The one person he was supposed to be able to turn to had let him down. He found himself angered by the idea; it wasn't his fault. It wasn't his fault that God had stepped down and it wasn't their fault either. He couldn't stand by and repeat his Father's mistakes. Castiel stood up and offered her a hand to help her up.

"I know you feel betrayed." He pulled her to her feet. "But if nothing else, and even if it is a minor comfort, you can have faith in me. I will not turn my back on you."

She heard the determination in his voice and knew he wasn't lying, and he wasn't just trying to make her feel better. Cas was making a stand. She hugged him quickly before he could try to get out of it.

But he didn't shy away, he returned the embrace. "Lucifer is only an angel. We've taken them out before."

"Okay." She stepped back.

"I'd like some time."

"Of course." She nodded and smiled slightly. "Bye Cas." After he disappeared she returned to the room. The bags were packed and waiting by the door.

Dean looked up expectantly. "You good?"

"Yeah." She lied. "Lucifer's only an angel, right?"


End file.
